Hårfarve
by Valkyrie's Emblem
Summary: "Hair color." Denmark has a secret. He's tried his best not to let people know. However, when his hair dye runs out, it may come out into the open. No pairings and human names used.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Once again, this would be canon if I owned Hetalia.**

 **Names:**

 **Mikkel - Denmark, Berwald - Sweden, Lukas - Norway, Gilbert - Prussia**

 **Hårfarve**

There was one thing about Mikkel that not many people know. It was possibly the single best piece of blackmail That someone could have against him. (Un)Fortunately, only his siblings (the Germanics) and the other Nordics knew.

However, that may not be the case for long.

Berwald was rudely woken up by what sounded like his brother having a mental breakdown in the bathroom. He was about to go back to sleep, but then remembered the last time something like this had happened while all three of the Scandinavian nations were together. Not wanting to have to deal with Lukas trying to kill the Dane for waking him up before he had his morning coffee, he got up.

He found the Dane curled up in the fetal position on the floor of the bathroom, shaking as he sobbed. Berwald just stared at him.

After a minute, Mikkel apparently sensed his presence and cried, "Berry... Just leave me alone to die..."

Berwald just glared at him. _"Don't call me that."_ He sighed. "Keep your whining down."

"But I'm out!" Mikkel cried, sobbing uncontrollably.

It was at that point that the Swede the sound he had been dreading- a door slamming against the wall.

Berwald had barely dived into the bathtub in time before Lukas stalked into the room and forced Mikkel up by the collar. "Hvilken patetisk grunn vekket du meg opp for nå da?" he snarled.

"I'm out of hair dye!" Mikkel sobbed.T

Berwald saw Lukas stare at him in disbelief before just dropping him on the floor and stalking out of the room, muttering something in some dialect he couldn't understand.

The threat of an annoyed Norwegian gone for now, he stared at Mikkel, who had assumed his earlier position of crying on the floor. "What." he deadpanned.

"I'm out of my special hair dye!"

The Swede's hand was once again aquatinted with his face. After a moment, he asked, "And?"

"They'll realize I'm not blond! Then they'll compare me to _Roderich!"_

"Go to the store."

"Mine's custom made! And the guy's been dead for almost five years!"

"Can't just buy some?"

"The amount of lye he used in it is probably illegal now."

Mikkel brightened a bit upon hearing Lukas' voice and got onto his knees while saying, "You can help me, can't you Nornor?"

Lukas just stared at him, a small hint of disgust in his eyes. "What have I said about calling me that?"

At this point, Berwald realized he was still sitting in the tub and got out. "Lye?"

"He's been using the same thing since the Viking Age," Lukas answered, sipping from his coffee mug. "Just lye. Probably other stuff in it, but mainly that."

"Mm. So, they'll realize you're not blond."

Mikkel started sobbing again, causing the other two to sigh. Suddenly, Lukas smirked, casing Berwald to give him a warning look, which he ignored.

"There's a NATO meeting next week," the Norwegian said.

Mikkel started bawling, causing Berwald to stare disapprovingly at him. "Shut up."

Lukas just shrugged and walked off, leaving Berwald to figure out what to do with his brother.

* * *

Five days later, you could already see the roots of Mikkel's hair turning back to a light brown. It actually wasn't too noticeable, but since the Dane could tell when looking in the mirror, he was lying in his bed, making Berwald basically mother him. (Lukas had left the same day they had found this out, not wanting to deal with him.)

This continued until the oldest Germanic barged into Berwald's house.

"North-North!" Gilbert screamed, slamming the door open. "I can't find North-South anywhere!"

Berwald glared at him until he remembered to take off his shoes. That done, the Prussian continued, "We were supposed to go drinking awesome beer and shock people with our awesomeness! He ditched me!"

"Ran out of hair dye."

Gilbert blinked. He started snickering. "He ran out of hair dye?" He suddenly blanched. "Wait, his awesomeness will go down if this continues! Blondness increases awesomeness by 10%!"

"...You're not blond."

"I'm albino. That's even more awesome."

Berwald just stared at him.

After a moment, Mikkel came into the hallway, a blanket covering his hair. "Oh... Hi Gil..." he said with no enthusiasm. "I thought I told you to leave me to die of depression..."

Gilbert took out his phone and checked his messages. "Nope."

"Must've never went through..." Mikkel sighed. "Just go..."

Before he could leave the hallway, the Prussian grabbed him and started forcing him out the door. "Nein! You are coming and having awesome beer with me!"

Berwald stared at the still open door, mentally counting down. As if on cue, Gilbert rushed in and grabbed their shoes before running back out the door with a quick "bye" to the Swede.

* * *

 **Translations:**

 **Hvilken patetisk grunn vekket du meg opp for nå da? (Norwegian) - What pathetic reason have you woken me up for now?**

 **Nein (German) - No**

 **Yes, Gilbert does call them that. Why? It's funny. I might change it to Northwest and Northeast but I don't know.**

 **If you're wondering why I decided to make this there are four reasons: 1. My friend keeps telling me weird stuff. 2. Back in the Viking Age, some used lye to dye their hair blond. 3. Mikkel's eyebrows are darker than his hair. 4. I was bored and am trying to get productive after I've been sick and have had stuff to do for school.**

 **This was supposed to be a oneshot but it's turned into longer so I can show more people's reactions.**

 **Anyway, I'm going to regret asking, but do you have any nations you want to see react to this?**


	2. Chapter 2

Gilbert wondered where Mikkel got the hat. He hadn't been wearing it when they left Berwald's house.

However he got it, it looked stupid.

"Dude, take off the hat," the Prussian sighed. "You're awesomness is going down every second you wear it."

"No! My awesomness will go down if they see I'm not blond!"

Gilbert had to pull over so no one ran into their car. He stared at him. "You're wearing a _pink bunny hat._ How in the name of the awesome Fritz would you not being blond make you be less awesome then wearing a _pink bunny hat_?"

Mikkel shrunk down in the passengers seat. "This is the best that I could find! I tried looking through Berry's room and all I found was this!"

The Prussian let that sink in for a moment before he started laughing. "Ber... owns... a... pink... bunny... hat?" he got out between laughs. "Oh my... Blackmail... Gilbird... write that... down..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Berwald was cleaning his room.

Once done, he realized that he was missing a certain hat his king asked him to store.

 _Someone is dying soon._

* * *

After almost passing out from laughter, Gilbert finally managed to control himself and said, "Seriously bro, take it off. I don't want to be seen in public with you while you're wearing that. Actually, I don't want to be seen in public with anyone while they're wearing that."

Mikkel just slouched down in the seat. "That's fine. Just leave me alone. Send me back home so I can die in misery."

The Prussian just looked at him for a minute before reaching over and plucking the ridiculous hat off his brother's head and threw it into the backseat, holding him back when he tried to reach for it. "Nein! I won't be seen with you when you have that stupid thing on your head and you're not going home!"

Realizing that he wasn't going to win this argument, Mikkel slouched down in the seat, trying to make it so that no one could see him when they look in the window. Considering how tall he was (Gilbert started cursing the fact that all three Scandinavians were ridiculously tall), it wasn't really working.

Gilbert forced himself not to laugh. Looking at the Dane's hair, he said, "You know, it looks like you just dyed the top of your head. Make you look pretty awesome."

"Still don't like it."

He slammed his head on the steering wheel. "Come on, 'Kel! It's not the end of the world! Feli hasn't turned down pasta yet! Stop moping about your hair!"

"But people will laugh at me!" Mikkel whined. "Lukas already did! My own bestie laughed at me!" The Dane felt a sense of ensuing doom coming from the north upon saying that last sentence, but it went away fairly quickly so he didn't dwell on it.

"People already laugh at you for thinking you're more awesome than me! And friends always laugh at people. I laugh every time Francis fails at flirting, which is at least 90 percent of the time."

"You're not more awesome than me!"

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not!"

"Ja!"

"Nej!"

"Ja!"

"Nej!"

* * *

As you may have guessed, that stupid argument continued for awhile.

In fact, neither one of them one. They just forgot what they were arguing about.

Anyway, they headed to the bar, and Mikkel actually managed to not whine and mope about the fact he didn't know what he was going to do since he was out of hair dye, which Gilbert considered a success.

Unfortunately, all good things came to an end. This time, it was Ludwig's fault.

Actually, it was Gilbert's because he never told their brother how long he'd be gone because he forgot that the German was a bit of a worrier, but he would never admit that. So it was the German's fault.

Anyway, neither of them noticed Ludwig had come in until he sat down at their table, saying, "Tell me next time when you go out."

Gilbert chocked on his beer. "West! Don't sneak up on the awesome me!"

The German just sighed. "Gilbert? Why is Mikkel cowering under the table?" he asked, gesturing to where they could make out his hair sticking up above the table.

"Oh, him. He ran out of hair dye and is scared to show people because he's being unawesome."

"I'm not being unawesome! Stop spreading lies!" Mikkel objected, sticking his head up enough to glare at his brother.

Meanwhile, Ludwig stared at the Dane. "Sie sind nicht blond?" he asked in shock.

Both of them stared at him. "You know, I thought you knew," Mikkel stated, too surprised to start moping. "I mean, I didn't start dyeing it until a few decades before the Viking Age started."

"Well, he was kind of just a little toddler most of the time. Maybe that's why," Gilbert mused.

"That's true."

"Can we talk about the fact that Mikkel's been dying his hair for over a millennium?"

Mikkel disappeared back under the table, causing both of them to stare at the hair that stuck up. "It's a very sensitive issue for North-South."

"Bruder, can you please stop calling Mikkel and Berwald North-South and North-North? Those nicknames are ridiculous."

"Nope!"

Ludwig sighed a long suffering sigh before turning back to his other brother. "Look, Mikkel, there is nothing wrong with your hair not being blond."

"But people will laugh at me!"

 _People already do,_ the German thought privately, though out loud he said, "So? No one you know will care too much." When he didn't get an answer, he sighed again and said, "Look, they're going to find out at some point. So quit moping about it."

Thankfully, Mikkel got up from under the table and sat back down in his seat, though he didn't say anything for awhile until Gilbert said that he was more awesome than him and could beat him in a drinking contest.

Ludwig had to drag both of them to his house that night and once again tried to figure out why an how he was the youngest.

* * *

 **Translation:**

 **Ja (German, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish, Dutch) - Yes**

 **Nej (Danish and Swedish) - No**

 **Sie sind nicht blond? (German) - You're not blond?**

 **And Mikkel's moping over the fact that people will realize he's not blond continues.**

 **If you're wondering about the hat and why Berwald had it, go search Kind Gustav hats. You'll know which one I'm referring to when you see it.**

 **By the way, I'm not bothering to do chapter titles because I'm too lazy.**


End file.
